FREEDOM!!!

Dear Ken,

This song right here echoes the sentiments of my heart!

Sony Vaio

This laptop screen is a little blurry. Perhaps the resolution needs adjusting ... I ain't sure! All I know is -- something's terribly wrong. I'm clueless because this picture looks weird. Sorta like my first time being exposed to this scenario.

Let me press the F5 key to see if the page would automatically refresh. Perhaps life could be this easy. But I'm not sure if my life could actually be revived. Life's innumerable enigmas have caught me off guard. As a young child, I sit here staring and gazing in amazement at the black keys wondering what would happen if I struck this 7 key. Would the Print Screen key show me my life on paper? Page Down cause that shit won't be nothing nice to look at. Can I skip over the lessons that I'd rather not encounter and Page Up when I want to repeat some of life encounters that were user-friendly and comfortable? Hell, let me Pause Break, repeatedly, when life seems less problematic and Scroll Lock once life acquires a tad bit of normalcy.

Oh wow... this bump is arduous, and I can't afford to expend more energy than necessary worrying about what I have no control over. I wonder if I CAPS LOCK and randomly tap a few keys -- would someone hear the echoes of my cry ... AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS? If not, I'll still cry. So, as I close my eyes, reach over and tap Enter to go to the next phase of my life, I can only pray that perhaps the next line would be less demanding.

I recognize those 1-2-3 characters because those were the simple lessons that life taught me. I even see an A-B and a C. Would this Shift Lock key highlight the struggles that I am too embarrass to confront or admit, and would this Backspace key allow me to back-out before I get in too far over my head? Ctrl Alt Delete might allow me to end this program before the virus takes over my laptop.

I Hear you!!!

Dear God,

I hate repeating lessons. This time, you have my undivided attention. I'm listening. Speak. #That'sAll

Ken

It's the principle of it!

I was standing at the checkout counter purchasing a gift card when an older guy approached. In a rather distracting tone he yelled at the cashier, “That machine didn’t give me my penny!” At that moment, I looked back and grinned, thinking he was joking. When the attendant ignored him, he got upset and repeated himself, “Lady … that machine right there didn’t give me my penny.” By then, I knew he was serious. So the cashier went into her pocket, obviously bothered, and handed the guy a penny.

As I walked out to my car, I jokingly asked the dude, “You wanted your penny, huh?” He said, “Yeah, man. It’s the principle of it. If they didn’t give me my penny, I wonder how many dollars they done took.” I laughed and went on my way.

When I got to work, I was telling a colleague what I had witnessed. At that point, I started dissecting what he had said. Ultimately, in the less-than-15-second conversation, I walked away thinking about the dangers of overlooking the small and simple stuff.

When does a situation become too big before we address it? Or when is it appropriate to turn a blind eye to something that appears minor?

Surely, most people do not turn back and ask for their penny. But how many times does the unhealthy relationship begin with a finger point to the head and then a push … eventually a slap and whatever else that follows?

Or when we recognize something is not right with our body, we acknowledge it, but do not seek the proper medical attention – only to find out later that the small pain was actually something greater than what we expected.

How about the first time Little Johnny cursed and we laughed it off … only to discover that the cursing turned into him becoming a Preschool bully, a juvenile delinquent by 15 and in prison for the rest of his life for capital murder?

It is the simple things, in life, that we overlook that could potentially cause the greatest harm. So while I laughed at the older guy checking out asking for his penny, I am able to laugh at myself for not really understanding what he meant when he said: “It’s the principle of it.”

thank you

Blogging during service

Dear Ken,

Right now, I am sitting in the middle of an unconventional worship service. A friend just text'd and asked, "What is going on in here?" It's so amazing to watch the Holy Spirit have its way - even when it is outside of our traditional methods. Folks are wrapped around the altar, weeping, tears flowing and are giving their life to Christ. #Beautiful

Simple lesson

Dear Ken,

I almost got got, yesterday!

United Airlines contacted me about setting up an account with their dividend mileage program. The agent over the phone sounded really convincing. She had me thinking "why the hell haven't I heard about this program?" You know - sorta like the frequent flyer miles with the other airlines.

I spoke with a colleague about how the program sounded too good to be true. She and I began researching on their website, but we couldn't find the information online. So I called United Airlines again. This time, the agent explained that one domestic roundtrip ticket would be roughly 25,000 miles, at minimum. At that point, I pulled out the calculator and started putting figures together. Bank of America gives 1 mile for every 2 dollars spent. So at that rate, I would need to spend $50,000 before I could ever redeem the miles. Being naive, I originally thought that the previous agent told me it would be mile-for-mile (ex. if from my place to ATL is 1,500 miles roundtrip, then I would need 1,500 miles in order to travel).

I couldn't believe I had fallen for something so crazy. I made a huge mistake. I signed up for the program without reading up on the rules, first!

#DearUnitedAirlines, y'all almost got me! Thanks for teaching me a lesson. I'll read the fine print next time. #That'sAll

Flashback

Dear Ken,

This song got me through undergrad and grad schools. #EnoughSaid

Dear Ken,

It's a small improvement, but I'm making progress!

#That'sAll

Hours wasted?

Dear Ken,

I hate being a procrastinator!

Waking up extra early (8 a-m) on a weekend, I had this perfect outline of how the day would go. What have I accomplished? Not a damn thing! It's now 2:56, and there is so much to get done. Should I skip the gym? Heck no! Should I be sitting here on blogger.com writing an entry? #iLaugh

Well, this day hasn't been all that unproductive. I was able to complete some major research for an upcoming presentation. Also, I was able to get about a page of the book written! So, yay me!!

#GymTime

On a s/n, I have been playing this song all morning ...

Dying daily!

Dear Ken,

I love having random moments.

Yesterday, a coworker and I were talking about something. Honestly, I can't even recall what the topic of conversation was about. However, in the midst of her speaking, she unintentionally gave me a wonderful reminder. In our 15-minute conversation, the only words I remember are: I die to sin daily. At that moment, I had a light bulb moment. It hit me. No matter how perfect I strive to be, I have to crucify the flesh on a continual basis.

#DearCoworker, Thank you for the reminder! #That'sAll

Of two minds

Dear Ken,

Today is one of those days. Lately, when I have been feeling some kind of way, I have refrained from writing about it. It is refreshing to remember how writing makes everything seems so peaceful and calm. Thankfully, nothing too major is happening; my drive and passion has just been temporarily exhausted. In moments like this, I have to pause and contemplate the next phases in my life. It is amazing and, yet, bittersweet to have awakening opportunities. The growing pains - not so much.

Looking back on life, I am overwhelmed with excitement of how each obstacle has built upon the next. During the period of uncertainty, I was confused, but after experiencing the unfortunates, it seems like everything fell in place. Kinda makes me think about the scripture "all things work together for the good..." You all know the rest.

Recently, things have not worked out as I have hoped. What do you do when you have a perfect plan or beautiful dream and it falls backwards? I'm telling you - it hasn't been easy. How about when you have to a tie a knot at the end of your rope and hold on to the last little bit of string that is left? Even harder!

Sometimes, it is extremely embarrassing to be completely transparent about life. But as I move from one year to the next, it seems like what I have once thought was difficult to talk about is rolling a lot smoother from my lips. For some strange reason, life has a way of making you face the truths of being strong and unsure, weak and bold, a success and having failures all at once.

So as I move from yesterday to today, I have to make a conscious effort to persevere in the face of setbacks and ambiguous moments. I have to reach deep and pull up the often forgotten strength to endure in times of weaknesses, and rely on the sometimes bruised faith to get me over these steep mountains. Oh for the love of challenges!

#LetsGo

More technology, please?

Uh-o! There goes technology.

Yesterday, I purchased the myTouch4G phone, that came out on Wednesday. Lets just say - there is so much that I thought I knew but didn't really know.

See, technology is ever-changing. There's now video chat, mobile TV, live streaming and thousands of other apps in the Android market. I don't think I can keep up with all of this. Am I getting older FAST or is technology going too fast?! Maybe both.

I frown upon the day when I turn to my child (oh goodness) and ask, "Now, how do you use that?" #That'sJustWrong So, I'll just resort back to my typewriter days!

Early voting

Dear Ken,

Early voting begins today! Before heading off to work, I had to go and show my support for Bill White. #LetsGoBillWhite

SN: This song here just spoke to me. Ah, I love this oldie ...

Amazing life lesson

Dear Ken,

On my last day to prepare before the half marathon, I learned a really incredible lesson.

I absolutely hate running on a treadmill. Spending what seems like an infinite amount of time running in place is dreadful. Leaving work close to the sun setting, I had no other choice. Running after dark is just too dangerous.

So what’s the lesson? It’s not that I was running and going nowhere, but it was the guy who ran next to me that caused me to reflect on life. Here’s what happened:

I was really running. It was about 45-minutes into my run on an incline of 2.0 and a speed of 6.0 when a guy approached the treadmill to the right of me. To his surprise, the treadmill had a “not in service” sign posted. To hide the embarrassment, he immediately went to the left of me – finding a very operable piece of equipment.

Watching Fox News, amazed at the smiles and triumphant attitudes of those 33 men in Chile who survived underground for 69 days, I was interrupted by a continuous thump. It was the dude to the left of me running for his life. Being curious, I glanced down at how fast he was running (because clearly he was keeping up too much noise). He was running at a speed of 7.4 on an incline of 0. By this time, I had been on the treadmill for about 45 minutes running at a nice pace – with energy left to burn.

Listening to the thumping noise was rather distracting. About 10 minutes into his run, I noticed the noise began to come to a halt. As he was exiting the treadmill, he said, “Wow, it looks like you’ve been running a good minute, and you’re still going … I’m exhausted.”

It wasn’t until he left that I began to contemplate what had occurred.

See – he ran about 10 minutes at a faster pace and a lower incline but got tired and gave up. Running slower, at a higher incline, I had enough strength to last way longer after he had left.

It hit me.

Often times in life, I look at the person next to me and see how fast they are excelling in their career, education or the like, and then I look back at myself and notice that I’m moving at a much slower pace. But in all honesty, the run taught me that it’s not how fast I go in life, but the fact that I am able to succeed at the level that I am on and endure until the finish.

I’m really looking forward to the race. I’m also looking forward to the next challenges in my life.

#RunningOn

Early a-m thoughts

Dear Ken,

It's dangerous to live without covering, but these last few months have increasingly shortened my faith. This is a rather embarrassing confession, but it is the truth. Mounting situations have made it difficult to see beyond the inevitable. Friends say that "this is a faith walk". But what do I do when there is no faith?

Since it's 4:15 in the morning, I better roll back over so I can be at my best at work.

Good morning :)

Bishop Eddie Long, Black Church, Snapped, Economy

Dear Ken,

I am going to try this video blogging out...

What is this dude thinking (Koran-burning)?

Dear Ken,

It has been a minute since I last updated. For the past month, life has kept me rather busy. I have had a couple of joys and a few minor setbacks. Nonetheless, being able to rise up and face another day keeps me #optimistic.

Only when I thought the world could not get crazier, I turned to CNN and read about the Rev. Terry Jones, the pastor of a small church in Gainesville, Florida, who is planning a Koran-burning ceremony on the 9th anniversity of the September 11th terrorist attack. The church, with fewer than 30 congregants, plans to burn 200+ copies of the Muslim holy book.

Rev Jones has ignored harsh criticism from Gen David Pataeus, Secretary of State Clinton and even the President. Secretary Clinton calls his act “disrespectful [and] disgraceful".

While Rev Jones' act of burning the Koran is probably protected by the First Amendment, has he forgotten the principles that Jesus taught of honoring, loving and respecting other people? I am reminded of the scripture that Jesus wrote: treat others as [we] would like to be treated.

Rev Jones can disagree with Muslims and their beliefs, but to set ablaze to these books only incites violence, places several troops in Afghanistan in harm’s way and will only encourage a recruiting drive for al-Qaeda. President Obama mentioned on Good Morning America that "this could increase the recruitment of individuals who'd be willing to blow themselves up in American cities or European cities".

Dude really needs to start practicing what he preaches!

Vacaying

Dear Ken,

It's been a minute since we last spoke, so I wanted to drop in for roughly 2.3 seconds to give a mini update! Right now, I'm in Miami acting a fool with some of the best people in the world. We're headed out ... talk with you later.

Me

Tweet this

Dear Ken,

I confess that I need to make a confession because for too long I have denied confessing that I have an addiction to twitter!!! #iConfess

Tweeting is simple and easy. I wake up tweeting. Go to bed tweeting. Send tweets in meetings. Walk tweeting. Tweet at the gym. Tweeting while clubbing. Against @Oprah's wishes, tweet while driving. In class tweeting. Tweeting at church.

It's addictive!

Loving my friends

Dear Ken,

Today as I was showering, it hit me. I began to think of the amazing people in my life who are nothing short of phenomenal. Often time I fail to comprehend how truly blessed I am to have encountered some incredible acquaintances. Though my immediate circle is quite thin, those who share in my joys and sorrows on a daily basis are ones - without a shout or doubt who are consistent in their dealings and thoughtful in their advice that they give to me.

Surrounded by people who embrace differences and respect the fact that we all don't share the same taste gives me hope. These are the ones who accepts Ken without a price tag. I love these people. They're close just like family. We share tweets, have drinks, laugh, worship together, party together and sometimes cry together. I can't ask for more. Well, I could, but I don't want to appear too greedy :-).

For those who have ever made an impact in my life, given me sound counsel or have shared a memory with me, I truly cherish you! You guys and gals know who you are.

Time to workout. #MobileBlogging.

Tired with work (already!)

Dear Ken,

My Saturday mornings have turned into grabbing green tea and listening to music until I consciously decide to get up out of the bed and run! Ah. Surviving the work week is now almost equivalent to getting through a painful episode of the Maury Show. The famous "When Sunday Comes" song has been replaced with tweets and facebook status updates with "When FRIDAY Comes". Some of the tweets are: (On Monday) - "#Countdown to Friday" or (on Friday) - "My favorite day of the workweek".

Is our generation already tired of working? Some of my friends and I have been in the workforce for merely 1-6 years (give or take), and according to some of our updates, work is becoming more of a task opposed to enjoyment. Working 40 hours a week to enjoy the finer things in life ... is work and our generation clashing?

Some say that we are just too young and inexperience. Others say that we are so eager and hungry for a management position ... that we desire to work less hours or we expect to make an income greater than $50,000 in our first position, and oh - don't text, e-mail or call [the young employees] about work beyond 9-5.

Getting a head start with researching employment issues, I stumbled across an article on Entrepreneur.com about 12 Benefits of Hiring Older Workers. The author had frightening point-of-views of what makes an older worker better than younger ones.

Well, on Monday, I'll be sure to update twitter with: "2 days of weekend and 5 days of work ... that ain't right!" #JustSaying

Countdown to Oct 9th

Dear Ken,

For the past two days, I have had my head buried in this Kaplan Review Book. With the LSAT being about 2 1/2 months away, I am in #CrunchMode. The most difficult part is that there is no proper way to prepare for the test. Recalling undergraduate, grad and some post-grad studies, it was easy to memorize a few facts, walk into the class on test day and circle the multiple choice answer or respond to an essay question. The LSAT, seemingly, requires a lot of analytical, brain-guzzling, and reasoning skills. #FML

This 498-page book review is crucial. Stubbornly, I decided against paying 3 installments of $433 to take an in-class review session. Looking back, I think I probably would have benefited by having an instructor explain some of this information to me. Though, it is not all too bad reading over the material and teaching myself ... just takes more time! When I reach a snag in the rug, I find myself being creative by resorting to YouTube videos to explain the more difficult sections. Surely my parents taught me how to hustle! O_o

Preparing for the test has definitely required me to sacrifice a lot. Forgoing the parties, hanging out with friends, losing a little sleep by staying up later, going without using social networking sites for hours and missing a few of the good shows that are still left on TV. Truly, I'm aiming as close to 180 as possible.

How I'm Feeling

Dear Ken,

No message. Just YouTube video...

2018 (a poem i wrote 2.5 months ago)

Dear Ken,

I was kinda hesitant to post this, but I wrote this back on March 30th and published in another place, but I wanted to bring this to you to let you read it. I went through and reread it ... found a few errors - so what? It'll definitely show you how human I be :).

"2018"

I ain't even gonna lie - I'm lost. Traveling through this rough path without direction is scary. When the songwriter sung "my back is against the wall," I echo the sentiments. Head tilted to the sky ... tears streaming down my face ... now, both hands on my knees and head hung down. I think, "God, which way is right?" Afraid to go in either direction because my mind is heavy ... filled with anguish and turmoil and pain and misery and doubt and confusion. Am I delusional? Maybe so. Maybe not. This can't always be this way cause it wasn't always this way. There was a period in time when I could look up to the Father and trust Him to direct my way. But now, all I see is a blur when I seek guidance. All I can hear is noise when I ask for help. All I can feel is fierce winds beating against my body when I take one and then another step. See when I place myself in these situations, I don't understand. I seek to find. And ask to understand and challenge to grow and knock to be answered and speak to be heard and reason to make sense and walk after righteousness to live again ... be a friend to have friends. Friends. Friends ... yeah friends. Or how about friends. Who has friends? We all have friends, right? Friends who we can go to for advice or to listen or to ask questions to or to cry with and share memories with and talk to into the wee hours of the night just because their company is peaceful. But what do I do when I feel like everyone around me is moving ahead and I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place because of unfortunate circumstances? What do I do when it feels like I've been deserted and hurt by the ones who I thought I could trust? What do I do when it feels like the world is weighing heavy on my shoulders? Some say to tie a knot at the end of my rope and hold on to what little I can. But then I turn and see fathers molesting daughters and sons being raped by their uncles they thought they could trust. Then we are forced to put our faith in a failing education system that doesn't give a damn about if we make it or not. And then we look to the church for guidance only to discover that in some instances it's just a social club or a body of believers who are so judgmental that walking through the left door is sinful. God forbid that we continue judging one another and placing ourselves higher or looking or nose down on one another. Reach back and help her get up. Yeah, you may have warned her that he was no good. So what she found herself in a domestic violence situation or strung out on drugs. Help her get some help. Yeah, maybe he is saggin his pants. But have you stopped to mentor or encourage or find out the root of why he's crying out for attention. Some people make me so sick with the hypocrisy and the folly. I'm ill to my stomach because of the republicans and their obvious racist attacks against a president who believes in one fucking nation under buddah or mohhamad or allah or confucious or god. Believe in whoever the hell you want to believe in. Go to mass. Go to the kingdom hall. Go to the synagogue. Go to the temple. Go to church. Be independent. Do you. I'm so sick and tired of you telling me that I'm wrong because I'm doubtful or worry. Or that I'm abnormal because I believe on sundays when the sermon feels good and then have a hard time trusting on Tuesday through Friday. See mondays and saturdays are okay because I either just came down from a high or anticipating another high. Church has been minimized to a big pep rally, money sucking, pastor pimping organization. Maybe I'm hurt or just simply don't care anymore. Care anymore. Care anymore. Yep. That's how it feels when the little three-year old girl is walking the street barefoot because her mother is strung out on dope - with the needle still sitting in her vein - trying to find food ... can you see her with the strap of the sandle in her mouth - hopeless. We turn and walk away and get out big mansion on the other side of town - afraid to confront the real issues in our backyard. Our masters or doctorate or law degrees start to define us. We forget that we are all like sheep. Or does that verse still exist? The four year old rocking himself to sleep because he witness three and four men walking in and out of the house because the mom gotta do what she gotta do to make a living. And then he goes to school - sleeping in class and then eventually becomes a problem because he's gotten to the sixth grade and can't read. Instead of the school identifying his problem in kindergarten, then label him as "special ed" by the eighth grade. Too embarrassed by his label, he resorts to skipping school and selling drugs because he fits in ... initiated into a gang because he's finally accepted. It's too late now because he has true family, or so he thinks, that loves him. Shit, he just broke into your house the other day. And just last week, he robbed the grocery store and held one of the cashier workers at gun point. His picture is now blasted all across the news because we didn't catch him when he was 4. Standing in front of the judge, she reads off all the charges and no room for rehabilitation because you know what the systems do to those who they are afraid to give help to. Damn, just how fucked up is our judicial system and our penal codes and our governmental agencies. Give me my food stamp card. I want my health care card. Give me WIC ... wait, those are the entitlement programs that the wealthy are seeking to dissolve. Somebody gotta help me. I don't want to work. I just wanna sit at home until the employment benefits run out and then rely on uncle sam to foot the bill. I need the section 8 and then HUD housing. Man, someday our society will wake up and stare the problems in the face. I'm going to get me something to eat.
#imjustsaying

Response: Listening to America's Youth

Dear Ken,

Before calling it a night, I just wanted to share with you what I wrote in response to an article posted on The Kitchen Table's blog. The article, entitled Listening to America's Youth, was about the perception of younger, church attendees, and how African-American history should be discussed more in the church. Here is my take:

Church, in all due respect, has become a social playground. I often engage in meaningful conversations with my friends about this issue. Young people are turned off by cliques and associations that have been established in the church. Where the church once was a beacon of hope for the downtrodden and a lightening rod of restoration for those who hurt -- has turned into preachers pimping the congregants and promising miracles and blessings for sacrificial seeds. This insults the intelligence of the young (and old), critical thinkers, who view the Higher One as more than a glorified sugar daddy.

While the church might not be perfect, you are correct in pointing out the significance of tradition and history. Whereas tradition calls for devotion, the new church accepts a praise team for praise and worship. Whereas the former church clings to legalistic principles such as women not preaching, unable to wear pants, not sitting in the pulpit or wearing makeup - the new age church is accepting of women rights to have participatory roles.

History is definitely important. Also, embracing change and the creativity of each church reaching the Higher One in their own way should be equally understood.

Father's Day

Dear Ken,

Father's day is quickly approaching. Actually, it's tomorrrow. I can remember like yesterday when my father divorced us when I was in the second grade. That was roughly 17 years ago ... 7 years old, at the time. We had just moved. At the time, from my 7-year old lenses, it appeared that there were no major rough points in my parent’s marriage. Nonetheless, the ugliness of adultery robbed me of several years of his presence. Growing up for a good portion of the time in a single parent household was extremely difficult.

Reflecting on what one of my friend likes to refer to as “Baby’s Daddy Day,” I am compelled to recall the most fondest memories I have shared with my pops. Travelling down memory lane, some of the days have been amazing, while others have not always been the best. While my adolescent years were the most fragile and sensitive time, to date. I longed to spend time with him -- having conversations of reassurance. Those were some tough days. Because of his absence, I resorted to extreme defense mechanisms to cope with life … hard!

Lately, we have been in the process of repairing our relationship. It has not been the easiest thing, by far, but I am amazed at the continued progress. This task has required a lot of patience, from both parties. I look forward to spending the day appreciating him for being there, when he could, and for the love and support that he shows.

To all the fathers out there – Happy Father’s Day!

Morning Ramblings

When I should be in the bed, I'm up at 2:05 in the a-m blogging. Unable to sleep, I resort to the next best thing - the internet! Today was a great day. No major complaints. I was able to achieve everything that was scheduled on the "to-do list". Looking back, time went by way too fast.

Preparing for the days ahead, it seems like there is so much to do and so little time to get things done. My life now consists of studying for the LSAT, reading blogs, working, a little partying (okay - a little more than a little), tweeting, and working some more. I haven't even really had a telephone conversation with some of my good friends in a long time. My mom was complaining that I rarely come to visit and how a 5 minute drive-by would be incredibly special. Guess this weekend I'll stop over.

This dieting and working out thing is going great. I'm feeling 120% better as a result of going to the gym, doing cardio, weight lifting and some of the free classes. Changing the way I eat has been a challenge. I can't even dispute that sometimes I get so tempted to stop by a fast food restaurant and chow down. However, instead of forgoing the fast food altogether, I've place strict limitations on what I can eat and how often (maybe once every 2 weeks).

I'm starting to get sleepy, but I wouldn't dare close without mentioning that I'm getting ready to start back going out on dates. After almost 2 years of living the bachelor life, I think I'm a little more mature for the whole couple lifestyle. I've ran across some really interesting folks and some real problematic ones as well. Guess the weeding and sorting is about to begin. Oh, what are you all's thoughts of long-distance dating? Does it work? How far is too far? How often should those in the relationship commit to seeing each other? Just thinking...

Not proofreading. Good night/morning.

Struggle

This one vice is getting the best of me. Often times, I think, "if I didn't struggle in this area, I would be ok." This truly keeps my face to the ground. Not out of embarrassment but in hopes of establishing some sort of plan to do better. I look at the situation day in and day out and nothing seems to improve. I might go a week without thinking of engaging, but sometimes, the weight of doing overshadows the times without.

Removing the mask and confronting this issue head on has been quite difficult. I've tried fasting in hopes of gaining some sort of discipline ... much failure! And then, professional help, ie counseling didn't help either. So I look at this and ask, "what do I do next?" Should I reevaluate the situation and continue to make excuses or microscopically examine the root cause? Well, at least, that's what the highly recommended counselor suggested. And after I've gotten to the bottom of the condition, then what?

Is is that I'm seeking one thing and forgetting the other? Or do I already have what I'm seeking and lack the self-control? Whatever the case might be, all I know is that I stand by what I wrote earlier: "This one vice is getting the best of me".

What are your struggles?

If/then

So I'm sitting here studying for the LSAT. I came across the "Formal Logic in Logical Reasoning" section. This is generally referred to as the conditional or if/then statements. So the example is:

If a person lives in the US, then that person must be living in North America.

From the statement, one would conclude: a person who lives in the US lives in North America, but not necessarily the opposite.

Reading further into the explanation, there's one sentence that caught my attention: "So, although you can be sure that the condition depends upon the result, you can never assume that the result requires the condition to occur."

Ok - so what am I getting at?

Nothing really. I just wanted to find a way to throw out my favorite scripture - Isaiah 59:1 (Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear). With this written, if the Lord's hands are not too short and if His ears are not too heavy, then I can rest assure that He will save and hear me!

#imjustsaying

Survival!!

Leaving the "7 last sayings of Christ," I feel so proud of myself that I was able to participate in lenten season these past 47 days. I have to admit, two things got the best of me, but I was able to forgo the third - alcohol! Well, if there's a next year, I know what I won't be going without ;-).

Good day!

Happy Health Care Reform!

Change has finally come to America. Representatives in the House did the right thing by passing health care reform legislation. By now, you have heard all the reasons why. This is not end, but we are definitely headed in right direction. A number of presidents have tried and failed, but President Obama and his administration got it done. Lets work to continue changing America!

Need I say more? Love you, N Pelosi!

"All blacks need to leave the store"

... and who said we are living in a post-racial America? I beg to differ!

Coming out of New Jersey, several shoppers in Wal Mart heard: "Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers, all blacks need to leave the store" - over the store's loudspeaker. Can you believe this?

Although this may have been a prank and probably not even sanctioned by Wal Mart or one of its employees, this definitely leaves a sour taste in the mouths of black people.

As we try to shift our mindset to see beyond the color of an individual, instances such as this teaches us that we have not arrived. Even further, this shows that we should continue to have open discussions about racism and the importance of embracing others and their differences. Moving past racism is no easy undertaking, and we should not sweep a situation such as this under the rug. Lets engage.

#teachablemoments

Running

Have 2 more laps on this 7-mile run/jog interval ... feeling exhausted. Nonetheless, this has been an incredible relaxer! Listening to "Peace be still" by Vanessa Bell Armstrong. She's taking me around this track! Uh-oh, stomach cramp.

Marathon training

So I've started the first official day of marathon training. This will be my second marathon, and I'm really excited about it. Hitting the track for 16 laps or 4 miles did a body good! Wish me luck!

No cross, No crown.

This song is so amazing! Love it.

Stop defining me!

I really don't want to be defined by religion. Too often, we get caught up in who's right, who's wrong, how it should be done, etc and forget the purpose: serving God and having a personal, intimate connection with Christ.

Winning a philosophical or religious debate is what some preachers have resorted to. What if I like some of the principles of the Catholic faith and some of the beliefs of the Jewish? How about finding those guiding principles that best relates to me and begin living and walking them out without being handcuffed or classified as a Baptist, COGIC, Muslim, Pentecostal, or Budhist.

Religious figureheads would counter and say that a "double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways" or it is appropriate to be "cold or hot - not lukewarm". Fine with that, but I am more convinced than ever that relationship trumps religion.

Lenten season

This is one of the most exciting, yet challenging times of the year. As I prepare to receive the ashes with the traditional: "Remember you are dust and will return to dust," I will also pause for 40-46 days in a period of self-denial to strengthen my bond with the Savior. In celebration of Christ's resurrection, my pastor has asked church members to begin the Daniel's Fast. In doing so, we will read the New Testament together. I will be challenging myself to forgo three things during this Lenten season in hopes of starting a fresh and reestablishing my commitment to Christ. Everyone who are fasting or giving up something, remember when you are tempted, just ask for strength.

Happy Fat Tuesday!

Muslim Sorority

CNN had an interesting video report on the First Islamic-based Sorority...

SOTU Thoughts

Last night’s State of the Union indicated one thing: America still has her hands full.

Before last night’s address, I admit that cynicism and pessimistic sentiments started to creep in. Over this past year, President Obama and his administration have had to make some pretty unpopular and bold actions. Some moves have been received with pretty moderate support while others have been unwelcoming, especially from the Party of No. Some of the administration’s important first steps have alienated independent voters and frustrated a lot of the democrats along the way.

His speech served to reinforce the very idea that we know is true: this is America’s defining moment. Although in the past she has deprived the black race of some of the most basic and essential liberties, the acronym USA embodies a substantial buoyancy of hope and justice and freedom and democracy and independence.

President Obama’s tone in his first State of the Union compared to that of the 43rd President’s was noticeably different. Whereas former President Bush’s main priority was the War on Terror, there was a symbol of new wars headed our way: War of Fixing the Economy, War on Getting Americans Back to Work, War on Health Care, War on K-12 and Higher Education, and War on Putting American’s Needs in Front of Partisan Bickering. He shifted the nation’s top priorities. This is most needed.

Middle class Americans have it hard. It is a daily fight to prevent home foreclosures, work to make ends meet, taking out a student loan to gain access to a quality and affordable education, working to combat racial disparities, unfair gender or sexual discrimination – while those on the other side of the aisle live with insensible tax breaks and record bonuses.

Americans were often reminded last year that we needed to tighten our belts and that those on the Hill would be more committed than ever to ensure that our economy rebounds, people get back to work, and that reaching across the divided party line would become normal practices – all for the common purpose of creating a more perfect Union. But is it so? Our belts cannot get any tighter!

President Obama reminded me tonight that he gets it. He understands the hard times that everyday people are facing. He is in touch with those who wake up each day on a daily grind to find employment, and those who have to choose between feeding their children or provide adequate health care coverage.

When times get hard, people bail. What we cannot afford is the government turning its back on the people who need the resources the most. President Obama explained that it is not about winning another election, but it is about getting the people’s work done.

We elected them. We decide if they stay or go.

Rundown

• Fantasia's show comes on tonight.
• The US Supreme Court gave the okay for unlimited amount of monies to be donated to political figures from corporations (bad idea)
• First Lady Michelle Obama stopped by "The Wendy Williams Show"... well, a wax figure did.
• Super Bowl is February 7: Saints vs Colts (not worth watching)
• President Obama will deliver his first State of the Union speech on Wednesday.
• Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke term expires on 1/31/10 - will he be reconfirmed?
• President Obama told ABC: "I'd rather be a really good one-term president than a mediocre two-term president."
• Black History Month is just seven days away.

Health care reform to jobs

With the recent election of Senator-elect Scott Brown in Massachusetts, the once promising health care reform is probably stalled. As a result of the republican winning, the democrats do not have the supermajority – which is bad news for President Obama and his promises.

As much as I hate that this is happening, the democrats can only fault themselves for taking way too long to pass the bill. Boy oh boy do I dislike the agenda of the Republican Party; however, I can honestly admit - when they did have the majority, they pushed their legislation through, with or without bipartisan support. Democrats failed to deliver. And when November comes around, if the dems have fewer seats, think: health care.

Speaker Nancy Pelosi admitted earlier this week that she does not have enough votes in the House to pass the middle-of-the-road, not-what-was-originally-promised Health Care Reform that the Senate passed. Perhaps these representatives fear that a stamp of approval on this legislation would equate to less votes in the upcoming election. Rightfully so - because several left-leaning liberals, including myself, was depending on those who are seated now to get it right. And they did not.

Several of my friends have either graduated college or is pretty close to graduating. Growing up, our parents placed emphasis on finishing high school and going to college "so that you can get a good job". Okay. It has happened. Where are the jobs? Americans are hurting.

Everyone that can work and wants to work, should be able to work! This Congress definitely needs to step up and deliver. We need jobs (oh, and REAL health care reform, too).

Busy week

Wow. This week has been extremely busy. Each time I turned the netbook or laptop on to begin a blog entry, within a minute, I hit the start and shut down button!

Even though I have a huge to-do list, or what I refer to as my "get-er-done list", life has a way of placing me in uncomfortable situations that ultimately prevents me from reaching the finish line. Through the madness and chaos of the daily routines, anything that appears out of the nowhere becomes a distraction.

Have you ever had a structure or specific way to achieve a goal, but either through unforeseen circumstances or procrastination, you did not accomplish what you set out to finish?

Well, as I pause for a brief moment to mobile blog while working out on the elliptical, I am most grateful for those distractions that catch me off guard. Without those interruptions, whether small or large, I would be less motivated to find the strength to survive these storms.

#imjustsaying

MLK Day Rundown

"The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends at the elbow of justice." -Dr. King

Today the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Holiday, or National Day of Service, was filled with excitement and remembrance of a legend!

Starting at 11, on the windy streets of Downtown Fort Worth, I watched the annual MLK parade. People from all walks of life and races were in attendance. People sung hymns as they walk or rode. Organizations, young and old, fraternities and sororities, high school and college marching bands, community leaders, state representatives and the like – all joined in the festivities. This was sure the scene in most large cities across the nation, as we all paused to honor Dr. King on this federal holiday.

Afterwards, I attended a Battle of the Band. The presentations and crowd was absolutely phenomenal. You could feel the excitement from the students as they danced and played their instruments. Those in attendance were equally elated to be graced by the young students showing off their talents for Dr. King.

Later in the night, St John had a Dr. King celebration. The children did a great job reciting speeches, reading poems, performing through praise dances and singing solos.

Ending the day, I watched “Obama’s America: 2010 and Beyond” on MSNBC with Chris Matthews and Tom Joyner. They were live on the campus of Texas Southern University in Houston, Texas. The two-hour feature was packed with interesting views of the state of Black America and how President Obama has helped shape the future of how people perceive racism in America. I will definitely blog about this later in the week.

In all, I really did have a great time celebrating the Dr. King’s Holiday. Here are a few pictures:

What's on the menu?

The Denver Public School system apologized for a racially insensitive headline: "In Honor of M.L. King." The headline, alone, does not have people in uproar; it is the text that follows: "Southern Style" chicken and collard greens. In an attempt to honor Dr. King through food, the district resorted to a stereotypical black person’s meal – chicken and greens.

DPS issued a statement: "[the idea was] highly insensitive in light of certain hurtful cultural stereotypes still harbored in parts of our society."

Does the fact that the district decided to have chicken and greens on MLK Day offend you more than the fact that we have several students dropping out of school, who cannot construct a grammatically correct sentence, or a generation who struggles with math and science?

#i’mjustsaying

1 year down, 7 more to go!!!

Almost a year-to-date, my friends and I were packing our bags eagerly awaiting to battle the cold weather to witness then President-elect Obama assume the highest office in our nation.

What a difference a year makes!

Although he has been faced with unprecedented events, he and his administration are to be commended. In a year, they have pulled the economy from the brinks of collapsing, made huge strides in overhauling health care (though not completed, yet), have plans to close the never-should-have-opened Guantanamo Bay, restored international confidence with our allies, and the list continues. However, America still has her hands full. As his first year comes to a halt, his to-do list has greatly increased. I look forward to witnessing him work diligently, with or without the Republican slash "do nothing party" slash "party of 'no'" – support, to put America back on the right track.

(PHOTO CREDIT: White House)

Minority unemployment numbers

I am in countdown mode.

Each year we countdown to our birthday, to Christmas, graduation and even the New Year; this year, I am counting down to Black History Month! Celebrated in the shortest month of the year, through many toils and snares, Black America has a lot to be excited for, and a lot to worry about.

While some black people are celebrating many triumphs, victories and even firsts, it would be remiss of me to fail to highlight something that is obviously being swept under the rug - right in our face: the startling unemployment rate, in our own backyard!

Growing up, my parents along with other community leaders insisted that the best way to get ahead was by obtaining a college degree. While I do not contest their argument, I do question why there is a significant amount of blacks, with a college degree, are unemployed.

Each month, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics provide data on how well or poor America stands in the job market. The latest figures clearly represent a disproportionate number in the amount of blacks and Hispanics looking for work. These numbers have reached double-digit in the minority communities, and it appears that no one is talking about it. While I do not expect the federal government to be the problem solver to all problems, I would expect them to at least highlight and address the discrepancies.

Take a look for yourself:

	Sept 2009	Oct 2009	Nov 2009
Whites	9.0%	9.5%	9.3%
Blacks	15.4%	15.7%	15.6%
Hispanics	12.7%	13.1%	12.7%

Keeper of my Soul!

Looking back over the past few years, I can truly say that God has been incredible. There have been times where I did not understand why life treated me so hard or why I had to face difficult moments. The going through part is never easy. But when the trial is over, God always has a way of showing me the purpose of why I had to experience such inopportune circumstances. On the third day of the new year, I definitely want to purpose in my heart to seek His face, to learn more of Him and grow closer and closer to Him each day!

I can honestly admit that I am a long shot off from where He wants me. I sin on a daily basis. I have impure thoughts constantly. My conversations do not always include Him - often, it pertains to things that He frowns upon. Usually, I make the decision and consult Him after I have drowned myself. On a good week (notice I said good week :) ), I pray everyday! Okay - so let me tell you how often on a bad week - probably none. But on average, I pray about twice a week or when I can remember to do so. Not dwelling on the past too much, I can recall when my shower time was my worship time... oh how that has changed.

Nonetheless, as I grow older, I realize and recognize that I need God now more than ever. Without His daily touch, daily direction, daily understanding, daily manifestation, daily guide, daily voice -- I would be lost and without hope. Perhaps somewhere on the street corner, or on drugs or stripping or - But I thank Him that He loves me enough to keep me - even when I fail to thank Him or seek His face.

Yes, God, you are truly incredible!

Right within your reach

One thing that is uncertain about Texas is its weather! For the past week and a half, due to the constant changes in the temperature, I have felt horrible. The illness first came in the form of a major headache. Next, my tonsils began hurting. And for the past three days, this uncontrollable cough has taken over my body. Refusing to leave work and spend a day with my family physcian, I consulted with my friend who is a MD. He gave me a home remedy. Here is what is interesting...

A friend came over to visit and apparently, his Vaporizing Chest Rub fell out of his coat pocket onto the couch. Sure that the blue bottle with a flamboyantly colored top was not mine, I picked it up and placed it on the counter. I promise you - this bottle has been sitting in its current location prior to me getting sick. Because this bottle is right next to where I hang my keys, I passed this bottle each day of my illness.

Heeding to the instructions of my friend, he advised me to get a bottle of chest rub, among one other drug that I have been taking. Remembering that each day I passed up a weirdly colored bottle, it hit me. I had a light bulb moment. This whole time, I have been coughing, sneezing, and snorting – because the Theraflu and other drugs were not working. Last night, I applied the chest rub on my chest, in the corner of my ear, and I began coughing up the illness. The cough lasted an hour, but I am upset with myself for being too busy – going about my day without paying attention to the minor thing: this whole time, I walked right next to my solution.

As it turns out, this was the perfect lesson to begin the new year. This isolated example has taught me to be more aware of my surroundings. Often, opportunities are placed right within my reach, and it will be up to me to take the initiative and act on what is presented. Just like the bottle of chest rub that I passed each day, there are so many talented people who I come in contact with on a daily basis that could help me reach the goals that I have set out for myself. There are different resources that I unconsciously pass over. Because life is strategically arranged, in order for me to move to the next level, I will have to start looking for opportunities – even in the simple things. Perhaps, my answer is right within my reach.

Just as I seemingly stumbled into the medicine and overlooked it for a week, what encounters, people or resources have you turned a blind eye to?