15 September 2013
25 July 2013
that moment you prayed about it. the situation got worse, and you felt that you were on the verge of losing hope.
when i'm encountered with trials, i am often encouraged to resort to prayer ... solicit and seek a strategy from above. or to ask for clarity in hopes that whatever i'm faced with i'd come out better than before the situations hit me. but what do i do when i have been patient and prayed?
that's what i asked my momma this morning ... hoping that she'd give me an answer that would resonate and prick the very depths on my soul. on the other end of the phone she whispered, "well, kenny, keep being patient and don't stop praying."
i paused and listened. she was asking me to repeat exactly what i said had been doing and was getting no results. nonetheless, it was a reminder to continue leaning on God, to not lose faith, to tie a small knot at the end of my rope and press through the storms of life.
#transparency #faith #notaffraid #peace
23 March 2013
It's been a minute
These past few weeks have been nothing short of amazing!
First, I've lost a few pounds. This has been something that I've been trying to attack since the earlier part of the year. At first, I didn't know if I would have the energy or even the desire to stay committed to eating healthier and working out consistently. Nonetheless, I can hear my momma say, "Kenny, the proof is in the pudding." I might got that all wrong!!
Shedding the weight has not been easy. But when I say that if you stick to it, it will work. It does. It's almost like tricking your mind to be obedient. Because I sure have wanted to eat one of those $5 boxed taco combo meals from Taco Bell.
Besides trying to become a healthier person, I've also been quite focused on bettering myself spiritually.
For a brief period, I was struggling with trying to find the right church. Moving back to Dallas from Oklahoma City, I just wasn't connecting to the church that I had became so used to attending. The members were nice, the word was amazing, but I wasn't moving to the next level in life. I wasn't being challenged and my conviction had been thrown out of the window.
In the middle of the night this past December, I was searching for potential churches to visit. I received a notification that a new start-up church would be having a preview service at the beginning of the year. So, without too much expectation, I went ahead and visited. To my surprise, this church was exactly what I had been searching for. Unfortunately, I had to wait what seemed like forever to have that experience again -- from the worship to the word, because the church would be starting it's regular services the first week of February.
So like a kid going to the mall looking for a pair of new shoes, I was waiting in high anticipation for the beginning of February. Over in South Dallas, off of 35 -- by way of South Tyler Street, I started attending this church called Cosmopolitan Congregation!! And about two weeks ago, I joined.
I joined Cosmo because I felt a spiritual connection. The pastor, from the first sermon that I heard him preach, had an amazing way of forcing me to do better when I walked out of the church doors. For the month of February, the pastor's first series to the body of believers was on love. It felt like he was speaking directly to me. Loving and to be loved is something that I've wrestled with for a minute. He was able to dig deep on what it means to really love someone and how important it is for that love to be displayed on a daily basis.
Then, the pastor started a series on giving. This, too, is another area of my life that I've had some uneasiness with. Because after working 40+ hours in a week, it can be quite difficult for me to give of my time to outside organizations through volunteering. Also, it is a challenge to even put an extra zero or a couple of zeros after a check when giving an offering. And even tithing :-/.
So yes, it's easy to write that I'm really excited about the direction that the year is going for me. Sometimes, the pressures and demands of life swells, but I have since started taking time to be alone and gather my thoughts. In gathering my thoughts, I'm able to visualize and dream. This is extremely important because I want to be in a position to continue to have an impact on the lives of those around me.
The to-do lists do not get shorter; I have a laundry list of things I need to accomplish before the weekend is over. But I forgot to mention that Justin Timberlake's new joint is hot af. As far as Bey, I'm still indifferent with "Bow Down." Though, I'm definitely ready for Lil Wayne's new music next week! Ayyeee!!
Also, President O did a phenom job on his first foreign trip of his second term, to none other than the Middle East. #RestorePeace
Let me close this laptop and continue checking these items off, as I listen to Suit & Tie--
First, I've lost a few pounds. This has been something that I've been trying to attack since the earlier part of the year. At first, I didn't know if I would have the energy or even the desire to stay committed to eating healthier and working out consistently. Nonetheless, I can hear my momma say, "Kenny, the proof is in the pudding." I might got that all wrong!!
Shedding the weight has not been easy. But when I say that if you stick to it, it will work. It does. It's almost like tricking your mind to be obedient. Because I sure have wanted to eat one of those $5 boxed taco combo meals from Taco Bell.
Besides trying to become a healthier person, I've also been quite focused on bettering myself spiritually.
For a brief period, I was struggling with trying to find the right church. Moving back to Dallas from Oklahoma City, I just wasn't connecting to the church that I had became so used to attending. The members were nice, the word was amazing, but I wasn't moving to the next level in life. I wasn't being challenged and my conviction had been thrown out of the window.
In the middle of the night this past December, I was searching for potential churches to visit. I received a notification that a new start-up church would be having a preview service at the beginning of the year. So, without too much expectation, I went ahead and visited. To my surprise, this church was exactly what I had been searching for. Unfortunately, I had to wait what seemed like forever to have that experience again -- from the worship to the word, because the church would be starting it's regular services the first week of February.
So like a kid going to the mall looking for a pair of new shoes, I was waiting in high anticipation for the beginning of February. Over in South Dallas, off of 35 -- by way of South Tyler Street, I started attending this church called Cosmopolitan Congregation!! And about two weeks ago, I joined.
I joined Cosmo because I felt a spiritual connection. The pastor, from the first sermon that I heard him preach, had an amazing way of forcing me to do better when I walked out of the church doors. For the month of February, the pastor's first series to the body of believers was on love. It felt like he was speaking directly to me. Loving and to be loved is something that I've wrestled with for a minute. He was able to dig deep on what it means to really love someone and how important it is for that love to be displayed on a daily basis.
Then, the pastor started a series on giving. This, too, is another area of my life that I've had some uneasiness with. Because after working 40+ hours in a week, it can be quite difficult for me to give of my time to outside organizations through volunteering. Also, it is a challenge to even put an extra zero or a couple of zeros after a check when giving an offering. And even tithing :-/.
So yes, it's easy to write that I'm really excited about the direction that the year is going for me. Sometimes, the pressures and demands of life swells, but I have since started taking time to be alone and gather my thoughts. In gathering my thoughts, I'm able to visualize and dream. This is extremely important because I want to be in a position to continue to have an impact on the lives of those around me.
The to-do lists do not get shorter; I have a laundry list of things I need to accomplish before the weekend is over. But I forgot to mention that Justin Timberlake's new joint is hot af. As far as Bey, I'm still indifferent with "Bow Down." Though, I'm definitely ready for Lil Wayne's new music next week! Ayyeee!!
Also, President O did a phenom job on his first foreign trip of his second term, to none other than the Middle East. #RestorePeace
Let me close this laptop and continue checking these items off, as I listen to Suit & Tie--
11 March 2013
Workout 3-11-13
Shoulder pull down 120-12, 135-10, 150-8, 165-6
Front v ext 60-40, 60-40
Lateral raise 50-20, 70-12, 90-10, 110-8
Abs 110-12, 140-10, 140-12
Shoulder cable 60-12, 60-10, 60-8, 60-6
Abs 125-10, 125-10
Dip 180-12, 210-10, 225-8, 240-6
02 March 2013
Corporate life vs after hours!
Why is there such a wrestle? We have so many identities that we have to manage.
For example, in the work place, I alter my image. When I'm out and about having a blast, I become more comfortable and relaxed. I'm reminded of the adage, "When in Rome, do as Romans do!" My appearance, language, stature, and overall presentation of myself in those different environments are very unique.
It's really amazing that researchers continue to survey the unknown and articulate random facts that further perpetuates the underlying myths that younger, minorities or disadvantaged populations have the most difficult times adjusting to societal norms!
Good bye, America!
For example, in the work place, I alter my image. When I'm out and about having a blast, I become more comfortable and relaxed. I'm reminded of the adage, "When in Rome, do as Romans do!" My appearance, language, stature, and overall presentation of myself in those different environments are very unique.
It's really amazing that researchers continue to survey the unknown and articulate random facts that further perpetuates the underlying myths that younger, minorities or disadvantaged populations have the most difficult times adjusting to societal norms!
Good bye, America!
26 February 2013
This morning
I'm having one of those mornings. Constantly, I have to remind myself the dangers of comparing myself to others. Ahhhh, allow me to rest in the lyrics of this song!!
16 February 2013
Transparency: Just not sure!!
"He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." -Psalm 91:1
That moment when you scratch your forehead and realize that you really don't know know how things will turn out. You wonder if you've made the right decisions. Then you wonder if conditions will improve. You stand and confront it head on, but it's bleak. It gets to the point where you throw your hand in the air and wonder where your help comes from. Tears don't come out because you've cried them all. Then you find enough energy to turn the negatives into positives. You once allowed the heartaches to become a headache. Now you're stronger and at peace. Comfort comes out of nowhere. The challenge is now a testament to the fact that your pains and struggles and vices and mishaps would allow you to rest in the shadows of something that's greater than you.
That's it -- rest!
Something that I've struggled with for some time now is not having enough time in the day to accomplish set tasks. Being controlled by to-do lists has become the norm. After scratching through one item, several more to-dos are added. Then I look up, and it's midnight and I'm still trying to get things finished. I get in the bed in the wee hours of the morning only to confront that same to-do list when I rise. Realizing that I only rested less than a couple of hours, I wake up, prepare the clothes, hop in the shower and get it started all over again. It's routine. But it's nothing out of a reality show. Most Americans have the same structure -- only it includes having a partner, children, family, pets and all of the other ideals that are apparent in the average way of living.
Stress is real. Exhaustion is real.
The American Institute of Stress, on its website, says that everyone has their own definition of stress. It states that a popular way to define stress is that it's, "a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize" (AIS, 2013). Therefore, because we have our own individual and unique obstacles to sort through, professionals deem it undefinable. Everyone has the opportunity to design their own idea of what stress is to them. Nonetheless, the unfortunate part of the equation, some of the stress that comes to and individual's life is due to the unseen or external happenings. These are often situations that we encounter that we have no control over.
Working in student affairs, I witness this on a daily basis. Some students can come in with the same unique circumstance and have a plan of how they will survive the struggle. Another walks in and begins to freak out because the challenge is too much for him or her to handle. Is it because of what the student has experienced in their past? Is it due to their current environment? The timing of the event? That, again, is to be determined with the stressee, the one who's dealing with the stresses. The question that I present is -- who is the stressor?
Wrestling with identifying who's in charge of creating stress is one tough cookie to cut. It's like wanting to run a marathon but not actually wanting to spend the hours, weeks and months on end training for it -- some people just aren't willing to commit or sacrifice. If I were to pose the question of "who is the stressor?" I would get responses such as: the individual, a higher being, or fate. Let's dive into the higher being.
Some people wrestle with who is God. Does he exist? What does it mean "to abide in the shadows of the almighty?" Who is this almighty? Is it real? Make belief? A fictional character? For me, I'm no different. I ask the same questions. Sometimes, I even spend hours on end researching and reading trying to understand this. It's kind of weird because growing up, I was taught to believe one thing and then, as I mature, age shows another.
For lent this year, I decided to give up, well, actually, I didn't give up anything. This year, I'm dedicating these 40+ days to find out what it is that I believe. But I'm starting to realize that it's going to take a little more than month and a half to make a permanent commitment to my outlook on faith.
Nonetheless, it's a Saturday, and it's all-star weekend. So grabbing my gym bag and hitting up the gym never felt so good!
That moment when you scratch your forehead and realize that you really don't know know how things will turn out. You wonder if you've made the right decisions. Then you wonder if conditions will improve. You stand and confront it head on, but it's bleak. It gets to the point where you throw your hand in the air and wonder where your help comes from. Tears don't come out because you've cried them all. Then you find enough energy to turn the negatives into positives. You once allowed the heartaches to become a headache. Now you're stronger and at peace. Comfort comes out of nowhere. The challenge is now a testament to the fact that your pains and struggles and vices and mishaps would allow you to rest in the shadows of something that's greater than you.
That's it -- rest!
Something that I've struggled with for some time now is not having enough time in the day to accomplish set tasks. Being controlled by to-do lists has become the norm. After scratching through one item, several more to-dos are added. Then I look up, and it's midnight and I'm still trying to get things finished. I get in the bed in the wee hours of the morning only to confront that same to-do list when I rise. Realizing that I only rested less than a couple of hours, I wake up, prepare the clothes, hop in the shower and get it started all over again. It's routine. But it's nothing out of a reality show. Most Americans have the same structure -- only it includes having a partner, children, family, pets and all of the other ideals that are apparent in the average way of living.
Stress is real. Exhaustion is real.
The American Institute of Stress, on its website, says that everyone has their own definition of stress. It states that a popular way to define stress is that it's, "a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize" (AIS, 2013). Therefore, because we have our own individual and unique obstacles to sort through, professionals deem it undefinable. Everyone has the opportunity to design their own idea of what stress is to them. Nonetheless, the unfortunate part of the equation, some of the stress that comes to and individual's life is due to the unseen or external happenings. These are often situations that we encounter that we have no control over.
Working in student affairs, I witness this on a daily basis. Some students can come in with the same unique circumstance and have a plan of how they will survive the struggle. Another walks in and begins to freak out because the challenge is too much for him or her to handle. Is it because of what the student has experienced in their past? Is it due to their current environment? The timing of the event? That, again, is to be determined with the stressee, the one who's dealing with the stresses. The question that I present is -- who is the stressor?
Wrestling with identifying who's in charge of creating stress is one tough cookie to cut. It's like wanting to run a marathon but not actually wanting to spend the hours, weeks and months on end training for it -- some people just aren't willing to commit or sacrifice. If I were to pose the question of "who is the stressor?" I would get responses such as: the individual, a higher being, or fate. Let's dive into the higher being.
Some people wrestle with who is God. Does he exist? What does it mean "to abide in the shadows of the almighty?" Who is this almighty? Is it real? Make belief? A fictional character? For me, I'm no different. I ask the same questions. Sometimes, I even spend hours on end researching and reading trying to understand this. It's kind of weird because growing up, I was taught to believe one thing and then, as I mature, age shows another.
For lent this year, I decided to give up, well, actually, I didn't give up anything. This year, I'm dedicating these 40+ days to find out what it is that I believe. But I'm starting to realize that it's going to take a little more than month and a half to make a permanent commitment to my outlook on faith.
Nonetheless, it's a Saturday, and it's all-star weekend. So grabbing my gym bag and hitting up the gym never felt so good!
19 January 2013
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