"He that dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." -Psalm 91:1
That moment when you scratch your forehead and realize that you really don't know know how things will turn out. You wonder if you've made the right decisions. Then you wonder if conditions will improve. You stand and confront it head on, but it's bleak. It gets to the point where you throw your hand in the air and wonder where your help comes from. Tears don't come out because you've cried them all. Then you find enough energy to turn the negatives into positives. You once allowed the heartaches to become a headache. Now you're stronger and at peace. Comfort comes out of nowhere. The challenge is now a testament to the fact that your pains and struggles and vices and mishaps would allow you to rest in the shadows of something that's greater than you.
That's it -- rest!
Something that I've struggled with for some time now is not having enough time in the day to accomplish set tasks. Being controlled by to-do lists has become the norm. After scratching through one item, several more to-dos are added. Then I look up, and it's midnight and I'm still trying to get things finished. I get in the bed in the wee hours of the morning only to confront that same to-do list when I rise. Realizing that I only rested less than a couple of hours, I wake up, prepare the clothes, hop in the shower and get it started all over again. It's routine. But it's nothing out of a reality show. Most Americans have the same structure -- only it includes having a partner, children, family, pets and all of the other ideals that are apparent in the average way of living.
Stress is real. Exhaustion is real.
The American Institute of Stress, on its website, says that everyone has their own definition of stress. It states that a popular way to define stress is that it's, "a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize" (AIS, 2013). Therefore, because we have our own individual and unique obstacles to sort through, professionals deem it undefinable. Everyone has the opportunity to design their own idea of what stress is to them. Nonetheless, the unfortunate part of the equation, some of the stress that comes to and individual's life is due to the unseen or external happenings. These are often situations that we encounter that we have no control over.
Working in student affairs, I witness this on a daily basis. Some students can come in with the same unique circumstance and have a plan of how they will survive the struggle. Another walks in and begins to freak out because the challenge is too much for him or her to handle. Is it because of what the student has experienced in their past? Is it due to their current environment? The timing of the event? That, again, is to be determined with the stressee, the one who's dealing with the stresses. The question that I present is -- who is the stressor?
Wrestling with identifying who's in charge of creating stress is one tough cookie to cut. It's like wanting to run a marathon but not actually wanting to spend the hours, weeks and months on end training for it -- some people just aren't willing to commit or sacrifice. If I were to pose the question of "who is the stressor?" I would get responses such as: the individual, a higher being, or fate. Let's dive into the higher being.
Some people wrestle with who is God. Does he exist? What does it mean "to abide in the shadows of the almighty?" Who is this almighty? Is it real? Make belief? A fictional character? For me, I'm no different. I ask the same questions. Sometimes, I even spend hours on end researching and reading trying to understand this. It's kind of weird because growing up, I was taught to believe one thing and then, as I mature, age shows another.
For lent this year, I decided to give up, well, actually, I didn't give up anything. This year, I'm dedicating these 40+ days to find out what it is that I believe. But I'm starting to realize that it's going to take a little more than month and a half to make a permanent commitment to my outlook on faith.
Nonetheless, it's a Saturday, and it's all-star weekend. So grabbing my gym bag and hitting up the gym never felt so good!
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