FREEDOM!!!

Dear Ken,

This song right here echoes the sentiments of my heart!

Sony Vaio

This laptop screen is a little blurry. Perhaps the resolution needs adjusting ... I ain't sure! All I know is -- something's terribly wrong. I'm clueless because this picture looks weird. Sorta like my first time being exposed to this scenario.

Let me press the F5 key to see if the page would automatically refresh. Perhaps life could be this easy. But I'm not sure if my life could actually be revived. Life's innumerable enigmas have caught me off guard. As a young child, I sit here staring and gazing in amazement at the black keys wondering what would happen if I struck this 7 key. Would the Print Screen key show me my life on paper? Page Down cause that shit won't be nothing nice to look at. Can I skip over the lessons that I'd rather not encounter and Page Up when I want to repeat some of life encounters that were user-friendly and comfortable? Hell, let me Pause Break, repeatedly, when life seems less problematic and Scroll Lock once life acquires a tad bit of normalcy.

Oh wow... this bump is arduous, and I can't afford to expend more energy than necessary worrying about what I have no control over. I wonder if I CAPS LOCK and randomly tap a few keys -- would someone hear the echoes of my cry ... AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS? If not, I'll still cry. So, as I close my eyes, reach over and tap Enter to go to the next phase of my life, I can only pray that perhaps the next line would be less demanding.

I recognize those 1-2-3 characters because those were the simple lessons that life taught me. I even see an A-B and a C. Would this Shift Lock key highlight the struggles that I am too embarrass to confront or admit, and would this Backspace key allow me to back-out before I get in too far over my head? Ctrl Alt Delete might allow me to end this program before the virus takes over my laptop.

I Hear you!!!

Dear God,

I hate repeating lessons. This time, you have my undivided attention. I'm listening. Speak. #That'sAll

Ken

It's the principle of it!

I was standing at the checkout counter purchasing a gift card when an older guy approached. In a rather distracting tone he yelled at the cashier, “That machine didn’t give me my penny!” At that moment, I looked back and grinned, thinking he was joking. When the attendant ignored him, he got upset and repeated himself, “Lady … that machine right there didn’t give me my penny.” By then, I knew he was serious. So the cashier went into her pocket, obviously bothered, and handed the guy a penny.

As I walked out to my car, I jokingly asked the dude, “You wanted your penny, huh?” He said, “Yeah, man. It’s the principle of it. If they didn’t give me my penny, I wonder how many dollars they done took.” I laughed and went on my way.

When I got to work, I was telling a colleague what I had witnessed. At that point, I started dissecting what he had said. Ultimately, in the less-than-15-second conversation, I walked away thinking about the dangers of overlooking the small and simple stuff.

When does a situation become too big before we address it? Or when is it appropriate to turn a blind eye to something that appears minor?

Surely, most people do not turn back and ask for their penny. But how many times does the unhealthy relationship begin with a finger point to the head and then a push … eventually a slap and whatever else that follows?

Or when we recognize something is not right with our body, we acknowledge it, but do not seek the proper medical attention – only to find out later that the small pain was actually something greater than what we expected.

How about the first time Little Johnny cursed and we laughed it off … only to discover that the cursing turned into him becoming a Preschool bully, a juvenile delinquent by 15 and in prison for the rest of his life for capital murder?

It is the simple things, in life, that we overlook that could potentially cause the greatest harm. So while I laughed at the older guy checking out asking for his penny, I am able to laugh at myself for not really understanding what he meant when he said: “It’s the principle of it.”

thank you

Blogging during service

Dear Ken,

Right now, I am sitting in the middle of an unconventional worship service. A friend just text'd and asked, "What is going on in here?" It's so amazing to watch the Holy Spirit have its way - even when it is outside of our traditional methods. Folks are wrapped around the altar, weeping, tears flowing and are giving their life to Christ. #Beautiful

Simple lesson

Dear Ken,

I almost got got, yesterday!

United Airlines contacted me about setting up an account with their dividend mileage program. The agent over the phone sounded really convincing. She had me thinking "why the hell haven't I heard about this program?" You know - sorta like the frequent flyer miles with the other airlines.

I spoke with a colleague about how the program sounded too good to be true. She and I began researching on their website, but we couldn't find the information online. So I called United Airlines again. This time, the agent explained that one domestic roundtrip ticket would be roughly 25,000 miles, at minimum. At that point, I pulled out the calculator and started putting figures together. Bank of America gives 1 mile for every 2 dollars spent. So at that rate, I would need to spend $50,000 before I could ever redeem the miles. Being naive, I originally thought that the previous agent told me it would be mile-for-mile (ex. if from my place to ATL is 1,500 miles roundtrip, then I would need 1,500 miles in order to travel).

I couldn't believe I had fallen for something so crazy. I made a huge mistake. I signed up for the program without reading up on the rules, first!

#DearUnitedAirlines, y'all almost got me! Thanks for teaching me a lesson. I'll read the fine print next time. #That'sAll

Flashback

Dear Ken,

This song got me through undergrad and grad schools. #EnoughSaid

Dear Ken,

It's a small improvement, but I'm making progress!

#That'sAll

Hours wasted?

Dear Ken,

I hate being a procrastinator!

Waking up extra early (8 a-m) on a weekend, I had this perfect outline of how the day would go. What have I accomplished? Not a damn thing! It's now 2:56, and there is so much to get done. Should I skip the gym? Heck no! Should I be sitting here on blogger.com writing an entry? #iLaugh

Well, this day hasn't been all that unproductive. I was able to complete some major research for an upcoming presentation. Also, I was able to get about a page of the book written! So, yay me!!

#GymTime

On a s/n, I have been playing this song all morning ...

Dying daily!

Dear Ken,

I love having random moments.

Yesterday, a coworker and I were talking about something. Honestly, I can't even recall what the topic of conversation was about. However, in the midst of her speaking, she unintentionally gave me a wonderful reminder. In our 15-minute conversation, the only words I remember are: I die to sin daily. At that moment, I had a light bulb moment. It hit me. No matter how perfect I strive to be, I have to crucify the flesh on a continual basis.

#DearCoworker, Thank you for the reminder! #That'sAll

Of two minds

Dear Ken,

Today is one of those days. Lately, when I have been feeling some kind of way, I have refrained from writing about it. It is refreshing to remember how writing makes everything seems so peaceful and calm. Thankfully, nothing too major is happening; my drive and passion has just been temporarily exhausted. In moments like this, I have to pause and contemplate the next phases in my life. It is amazing and, yet, bittersweet to have awakening opportunities. The growing pains - not so much.

Looking back on life, I am overwhelmed with excitement of how each obstacle has built upon the next. During the period of uncertainty, I was confused, but after experiencing the unfortunates, it seems like everything fell in place. Kinda makes me think about the scripture "all things work together for the good..." You all know the rest.

Recently, things have not worked out as I have hoped. What do you do when you have a perfect plan or beautiful dream and it falls backwards? I'm telling you - it hasn't been easy. How about when you have to a tie a knot at the end of your rope and hold on to the last little bit of string that is left? Even harder!

Sometimes, it is extremely embarrassing to be completely transparent about life. But as I move from one year to the next, it seems like what I have once thought was difficult to talk about is rolling a lot smoother from my lips. For some strange reason, life has a way of making you face the truths of being strong and unsure, weak and bold, a success and having failures all at once.

So as I move from yesterday to today, I have to make a conscious effort to persevere in the face of setbacks and ambiguous moments. I have to reach deep and pull up the often forgotten strength to endure in times of weaknesses, and rely on the sometimes bruised faith to get me over these steep mountains. Oh for the love of challenges!

#LetsGo

More technology, please?

Uh-o! There goes technology.

Yesterday, I purchased the myTouch4G phone, that came out on Wednesday. Lets just say - there is so much that I thought I knew but didn't really know.

See, technology is ever-changing. There's now video chat, mobile TV, live streaming and thousands of other apps in the Android market. I don't think I can keep up with all of this. Am I getting older FAST or is technology going too fast?! Maybe both.

I frown upon the day when I turn to my child (oh goodness) and ask, "Now, how do you use that?" #That'sJustWrong So, I'll just resort back to my typewriter days!

Early voting

Dear Ken,

Early voting begins today! Before heading off to work, I had to go and show my support for Bill White. #LetsGoBillWhite

SN: This song here just spoke to me. Ah, I love this oldie ...

Amazing life lesson

Dear Ken,

On my last day to prepare before the half marathon, I learned a really incredible lesson.

I absolutely hate running on a treadmill. Spending what seems like an infinite amount of time running in place is dreadful. Leaving work close to the sun setting, I had no other choice. Running after dark is just too dangerous.

So what’s the lesson? It’s not that I was running and going nowhere, but it was the guy who ran next to me that caused me to reflect on life. Here’s what happened:

I was really running. It was about 45-minutes into my run on an incline of 2.0 and a speed of 6.0 when a guy approached the treadmill to the right of me. To his surprise, the treadmill had a “not in service” sign posted. To hide the embarrassment, he immediately went to the left of me – finding a very operable piece of equipment.

Watching Fox News, amazed at the smiles and triumphant attitudes of those 33 men in Chile who survived underground for 69 days, I was interrupted by a continuous thump. It was the dude to the left of me running for his life. Being curious, I glanced down at how fast he was running (because clearly he was keeping up too much noise). He was running at a speed of 7.4 on an incline of 0. By this time, I had been on the treadmill for about 45 minutes running at a nice pace – with energy left to burn.

Listening to the thumping noise was rather distracting. About 10 minutes into his run, I noticed the noise began to come to a halt. As he was exiting the treadmill, he said, “Wow, it looks like you’ve been running a good minute, and you’re still going … I’m exhausted.”

It wasn’t until he left that I began to contemplate what had occurred.

See – he ran about 10 minutes at a faster pace and a lower incline but got tired and gave up. Running slower, at a higher incline, I had enough strength to last way longer after he had left.

It hit me.

Often times in life, I look at the person next to me and see how fast they are excelling in their career, education or the like, and then I look back at myself and notice that I’m moving at a much slower pace. But in all honesty, the run taught me that it’s not how fast I go in life, but the fact that I am able to succeed at the level that I am on and endure until the finish.

I’m really looking forward to the race. I’m also looking forward to the next challenges in my life.

#RunningOn

Early a-m thoughts

Dear Ken,

It's dangerous to live without covering, but these last few months have increasingly shortened my faith. This is a rather embarrassing confession, but it is the truth. Mounting situations have made it difficult to see beyond the inevitable. Friends say that "this is a faith walk". But what do I do when there is no faith?

Since it's 4:15 in the morning, I better roll back over so I can be at my best at work.

Good morning :)

Bishop Eddie Long, Black Church, Snapped, Economy

Dear Ken,

I am going to try this video blogging out...

What is this dude thinking (Koran-burning)?

Dear Ken,

It has been a minute since I last updated. For the past month, life has kept me rather busy. I have had a couple of joys and a few minor setbacks. Nonetheless, being able to rise up and face another day keeps me #optimistic.

Only when I thought the world could not get crazier, I turned to CNN and read about the Rev. Terry Jones, the pastor of a small church in Gainesville, Florida, who is planning a Koran-burning ceremony on the 9th anniversity of the September 11th terrorist attack. The church, with fewer than 30 congregants, plans to burn 200+ copies of the Muslim holy book.

Rev Jones has ignored harsh criticism from Gen David Pataeus, Secretary of State Clinton and even the President. Secretary Clinton calls his act “disrespectful [and] disgraceful".

While Rev Jones' act of burning the Koran is probably protected by the First Amendment, has he forgotten the principles that Jesus taught of honoring, loving and respecting other people? I am reminded of the scripture that Jesus wrote: treat others as [we] would like to be treated.

Rev Jones can disagree with Muslims and their beliefs, but to set ablaze to these books only incites violence, places several troops in Afghanistan in harm’s way and will only encourage a recruiting drive for al-Qaeda. President Obama mentioned on Good Morning America that "this could increase the recruitment of individuals who'd be willing to blow themselves up in American cities or European cities".

Dude really needs to start practicing what he preaches!

Vacaying

Dear Ken,

It's been a minute since we last spoke, so I wanted to drop in for roughly 2.3 seconds to give a mini update! Right now, I'm in Miami acting a fool with some of the best people in the world. We're headed out ... talk with you later.

Me

Tweet this

Dear Ken,

I confess that I need to make a confession because for too long I have denied confessing that I have an addiction to twitter!!! #iConfess

Tweeting is simple and easy. I wake up tweeting. Go to bed tweeting. Send tweets in meetings. Walk tweeting. Tweet at the gym. Tweeting while clubbing. Against @Oprah's wishes, tweet while driving. In class tweeting. Tweeting at church.

It's addictive!

Loving my friends

Dear Ken,

Today as I was showering, it hit me. I began to think of the amazing people in my life who are nothing short of phenomenal. Often time I fail to comprehend how truly blessed I am to have encountered some incredible acquaintances. Though my immediate circle is quite thin, those who share in my joys and sorrows on a daily basis are ones - without a shout or doubt who are consistent in their dealings and thoughtful in their advice that they give to me.

Surrounded by people who embrace differences and respect the fact that we all don't share the same taste gives me hope. These are the ones who accepts Ken without a price tag. I love these people. They're close just like family. We share tweets, have drinks, laugh, worship together, party together and sometimes cry together. I can't ask for more. Well, I could, but I don't want to appear too greedy :-).

For those who have ever made an impact in my life, given me sound counsel or have shared a memory with me, I truly cherish you! You guys and gals know who you are.

Time to workout. #MobileBlogging.

Tired with work (already!)

Dear Ken,

My Saturday mornings have turned into grabbing green tea and listening to music until I consciously decide to get up out of the bed and run! Ah. Surviving the work week is now almost equivalent to getting through a painful episode of the Maury Show. The famous "When Sunday Comes" song has been replaced with tweets and facebook status updates with "When FRIDAY Comes". Some of the tweets are: (On Monday) - "#Countdown to Friday" or (on Friday) - "My favorite day of the workweek".

Is our generation already tired of working? Some of my friends and I have been in the workforce for merely 1-6 years (give or take), and according to some of our updates, work is becoming more of a task opposed to enjoyment. Working 40 hours a week to enjoy the finer things in life ... is work and our generation clashing?

Some say that we are just too young and inexperience. Others say that we are so eager and hungry for a management position ... that we desire to work less hours or we expect to make an income greater than $50,000 in our first position, and oh - don't text, e-mail or call [the young employees] about work beyond 9-5.

Getting a head start with researching employment issues, I stumbled across an article on Entrepreneur.com about 12 Benefits of Hiring Older Workers. The author had frightening point-of-views of what makes an older worker better than younger ones.

Well, on Monday, I'll be sure to update twitter with: "2 days of weekend and 5 days of work ... that ain't right!" #JustSaying

Countdown to Oct 9th

Dear Ken,

For the past two days, I have had my head buried in this Kaplan Review Book. With the LSAT being about 2 1/2 months away, I am in #CrunchMode. The most difficult part is that there is no proper way to prepare for the test. Recalling undergraduate, grad and some post-grad studies, it was easy to memorize a few facts, walk into the class on test day and circle the multiple choice answer or respond to an essay question. The LSAT, seemingly, requires a lot of analytical, brain-guzzling, and reasoning skills. #FML

This 498-page book review is crucial. Stubbornly, I decided against paying 3 installments of $433 to take an in-class review session. Looking back, I think I probably would have benefited by having an instructor explain some of this information to me. Though, it is not all too bad reading over the material and teaching myself ... just takes more time! When I reach a snag in the rug, I find myself being creative by resorting to YouTube videos to explain the more difficult sections. Surely my parents taught me how to hustle! O_o

Preparing for the test has definitely required me to sacrifice a lot. Forgoing the parties, hanging out with friends, losing a little sleep by staying up later, going without using social networking sites for hours and missing a few of the good shows that are still left on TV. Truly, I'm aiming as close to 180 as possible.

How I'm Feeling

Dear Ken,

No message. Just YouTube video...

2018 (a poem i wrote 2.5 months ago)

Dear Ken,

I was kinda hesitant to post this, but I wrote this back on March 30th and published in another place, but I wanted to bring this to you to let you read it. I went through and reread it ... found a few errors - so what? It'll definitely show you how human I be :).

"2018"

I ain't even gonna lie - I'm lost. Traveling through this rough path without direction is scary. When the songwriter sung "my back is against the wall," I echo the sentiments. Head tilted to the sky ... tears streaming down my face ... now, both hands on my knees and head hung down. I think, "God, which way is right?" Afraid to go in either direction because my mind is heavy ... filled with anguish and turmoil and pain and misery and doubt and confusion. Am I delusional? Maybe so. Maybe not. This can't always be this way cause it wasn't always this way. There was a period in time when I could look up to the Father and trust Him to direct my way. But now, all I see is a blur when I seek guidance. All I can hear is noise when I ask for help. All I can feel is fierce winds beating against my body when I take one and then another step. See when I place myself in these situations, I don't understand. I seek to find. And ask to understand and challenge to grow and knock to be answered and speak to be heard and reason to make sense and walk after righteousness to live again ... be a friend to have friends. Friends. Friends ... yeah friends. Or how about friends. Who has friends? We all have friends, right? Friends who we can go to for advice or to listen or to ask questions to or to cry with and share memories with and talk to into the wee hours of the night just because their company is peaceful. But what do I do when I feel like everyone around me is moving ahead and I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place because of unfortunate circumstances? What do I do when it feels like I've been deserted and hurt by the ones who I thought I could trust? What do I do when it feels like the world is weighing heavy on my shoulders? Some say to tie a knot at the end of my rope and hold on to what little I can. But then I turn and see fathers molesting daughters and sons being raped by their uncles they thought they could trust. Then we are forced to put our faith in a failing education system that doesn't give a damn about if we make it or not. And then we look to the church for guidance only to discover that in some instances it's just a social club or a body of believers who are so judgmental that walking through the left door is sinful. God forbid that we continue judging one another and placing ourselves higher or looking or nose down on one another. Reach back and help her get up. Yeah, you may have warned her that he was no good. So what she found herself in a domestic violence situation or strung out on drugs. Help her get some help. Yeah, maybe he is saggin his pants. But have you stopped to mentor or encourage or find out the root of why he's crying out for attention. Some people make me so sick with the hypocrisy and the folly. I'm ill to my stomach because of the republicans and their obvious racist attacks against a president who believes in one fucking nation under buddah or mohhamad or allah or confucious or god. Believe in whoever the hell you want to believe in. Go to mass. Go to the kingdom hall. Go to the synagogue. Go to the temple. Go to church. Be independent. Do you. I'm so sick and tired of you telling me that I'm wrong because I'm doubtful or worry. Or that I'm abnormal because I believe on sundays when the sermon feels good and then have a hard time trusting on Tuesday through Friday. See mondays and saturdays are okay because I either just came down from a high or anticipating another high. Church has been minimized to a big pep rally, money sucking, pastor pimping organization. Maybe I'm hurt or just simply don't care anymore. Care anymore. Care anymore. Yep. That's how it feels when the little three-year old girl is walking the street barefoot because her mother is strung out on dope - with the needle still sitting in her vein - trying to find food ... can you see her with the strap of the sandle in her mouth - hopeless. We turn and walk away and get out big mansion on the other side of town - afraid to confront the real issues in our backyard. Our masters or doctorate or law degrees start to define us. We forget that we are all like sheep. Or does that verse still exist? The four year old rocking himself to sleep because he witness three and four men walking in and out of the house because the mom gotta do what she gotta do to make a living. And then he goes to school - sleeping in class and then eventually becomes a problem because he's gotten to the sixth grade and can't read. Instead of the school identifying his problem in kindergarten, then label him as "special ed" by the eighth grade. Too embarrassed by his label, he resorts to skipping school and selling drugs because he fits in ... initiated into a gang because he's finally accepted. It's too late now because he has true family, or so he thinks, that loves him. Shit, he just broke into your house the other day. And just last week, he robbed the grocery store and held one of the cashier workers at gun point. His picture is now blasted all across the news because we didn't catch him when he was 4. Standing in front of the judge, she reads off all the charges and no room for rehabilitation because you know what the systems do to those who they are afraid to give help to. Damn, just how fucked up is our judicial system and our penal codes and our governmental agencies. Give me my food stamp card. I want my health care card. Give me WIC ... wait, those are the entitlement programs that the wealthy are seeking to dissolve. Somebody gotta help me. I don't want to work. I just wanna sit at home until the employment benefits run out and then rely on uncle sam to foot the bill. I need the section 8 and then HUD housing. Man, someday our society will wake up and stare the problems in the face. I'm going to get me something to eat.
#imjustsaying

Response: Listening to America's Youth

Dear Ken,

Before calling it a night, I just wanted to share with you what I wrote in response to an article posted on The Kitchen Table's blog. The article, entitled Listening to America's Youth, was about the perception of younger, church attendees, and how African-American history should be discussed more in the church. Here is my take:

Church, in all due respect, has become a social playground. I often engage in meaningful conversations with my friends about this issue. Young people are turned off by cliques and associations that have been established in the church. Where the church once was a beacon of hope for the downtrodden and a lightening rod of restoration for those who hurt -- has turned into preachers pimping the congregants and promising miracles and blessings for sacrificial seeds. This insults the intelligence of the young (and old), critical thinkers, who view the Higher One as more than a glorified sugar daddy.

While the church might not be perfect, you are correct in pointing out the significance of tradition and history. Whereas tradition calls for devotion, the new church accepts a praise team for praise and worship. Whereas the former church clings to legalistic principles such as women not preaching, unable to wear pants, not sitting in the pulpit or wearing makeup - the new age church is accepting of women rights to have participatory roles.

History is definitely important. Also, embracing change and the creativity of each church reaching the Higher One in their own way should be equally understood.

Father's Day

Dear Ken,

Father's day is quickly approaching. Actually, it's tomorrrow. I can remember like yesterday when my father divorced us when I was in the second grade. That was roughly 17 years ago ... 7 years old, at the time. We had just moved. At the time, from my 7-year old lenses, it appeared that there were no major rough points in my parent’s marriage. Nonetheless, the ugliness of adultery robbed me of several years of his presence. Growing up for a good portion of the time in a single parent household was extremely difficult.

Reflecting on what one of my friend likes to refer to as “Baby’s Daddy Day,” I am compelled to recall the most fondest memories I have shared with my pops. Travelling down memory lane, some of the days have been amazing, while others have not always been the best. While my adolescent years were the most fragile and sensitive time, to date. I longed to spend time with him -- having conversations of reassurance. Those were some tough days. Because of his absence, I resorted to extreme defense mechanisms to cope with life … hard!

Lately, we have been in the process of repairing our relationship. It has not been the easiest thing, by far, but I am amazed at the continued progress. This task has required a lot of patience, from both parties. I look forward to spending the day appreciating him for being there, when he could, and for the love and support that he shows.

To all the fathers out there – Happy Father’s Day!